Update on the Fly

-Bought a dress! I totally gave in and decided I would go insane if I kept looking, so traditional (as in ivory) it is. But traditional with flair. And soul. It's a relief.

-Hanging out on the Surgical Intensive Care Unit = not so much fun. Rounds take forever, people die, everyone is on a ventilator. But I get to be the reigning champ of all things ob/gyn whenever we get an ob or gyn patient, so that's something. On Thursday I gave a lecture to the team on various forms of ingrown placentas. Yay!

-Grey's Anatomy with Bernadette Peters?!!! Yes, please. Also, "Pen trach?....Hot!"

-Knitting things: finished Wallis cardigan...pictures to come...eventually. I like it. It's blue and simple and fits pretty well. However, when sewing on the hook and eyes, it took me a while to remember how to sew things on in a method other than the one I use for central lines. (That's weird, Karen.) Also, Laura bought me yarn! It's beautiful! And enough for a sweater! Which means I have about five sweaters worth of yarn waiting to be knit!

-Went to a Blessingway. Awesome. The mother we honored is already a great mother, and I'm excited for her to have a second child. It was also pretty great to be part of a ritual again. It's been a while. There was smudging and goddesses and symbolic yarn and candles. Internets, hope for a good, easy birth and a good, easy baby for D.

-Residency interviews: I have them. Not all of them, by any means, but enough to feel pretty confident that I will end of somewhere awesome. Two of my top five have invited me, so that's good. Suffice it to say, I will live on an airplane from about November 16 to January 7 or so (small break for holidays).

That's all for now. More when I'm on anesthesia (better hours).

Go to bed, Karen

To say that I am stressing about this whole wedding dress thing is putting it mildly. We found a few options last weekend, but I'm just not feeling right with this whole traditional white (ivory) with train thing. I think I will get there. Maybe. But right now, I'm balking. It feels like giving in, somehow. And yet, maybe, on that day, I'll want to look like "a bride." Or whatever. Those of you who commented about color options you've done or seen are definitely helpful. I really appreciate everyone's support (both commenters and friends). Tam, thank you for cards and buttons and emails and comments and really knowing what I'm struggling with. Kristin, thanks for compliments and alternatives and your generally positive outlook. Delores (hi!!), thank you for the same. I love that your daughter got married in brown (I kind of want pale aqua - our color). Seriously. I realize that this is, on some level, not a big deal. But in our culture, it is made to be this Huge Big Thing. Have you picked The Dress yet? What does The Dress look like? As if there were never dresses before and I will be wearing pants for the rest of my life. So, yes, I want to get it right, as it were.

But, for inspiration, I just looked through a friend's wedding photos, with the goal of figuring out what was awesome about her dress, what made her decide that, yes, this piece of cloth is worth the money. While her dress was awesome (modern, no froo-froo factor, flattering), what stood out was how beautiful she was. She was absolutely beaming, and the dress was really not the focus. That's important. Also, B was a groomsman in that wedding, and every once in a while, I'd click to a picture of him. Then I would beam. It'll be okay. Whatever I'm wearing, I'll be really happy, so maybe the dress will fade into the background.

Cute

I went to knitting group today. At a coffee shop. This is what transposed when I returned home.

B (after smelling me): Awww....you're like a Good Eats character.

Me (confused): What?

B: You know, like the Lady of the Refrigerator. Only you're the Lady of the Coffee.

Me (not exactly thrilled): Ahhh...

In conclusion, I love my knitting group, but I wish it did not make me smell so much of coffee. And sometimes panini as well.

Some days...

Some days instead of delivering babies you monitor pregnant women after they've been assaulted. By their mothers.

And when you ask if they have a safe place to go home to, they say yes, but you knowknowknow they are lying. But as long as they won't say otherwise, our job here is done. Until next time.

I will not be afraid of women

Yesterday I made my first appointment to look at wedding dresses. And then, I hung up the phone and promptly burst into a cold sweat.

I am not freaked out by the getting married part of this whole wedding thing. But I am freaked out by the "wedding" part, particularly the "wedding dress" part. I am scared of the women who work in these wedding dress shops who will try to make me spend more than I want on a puffy, white, beaded cloud that will make me unrecognizable. Frankly, I'm not even 100% sure I want to get married in white (or ivory/cream/diamond/ecru/champagne/whatever).

In two weeks we have the mega-wedding-dress-shopping weekend. My parents are coming to town, so Mom will be with me the whole time. Sometimes my grandmother or my aunt will be with me as well. They are all pretty sensible people, so I'm hoping they'll help me shoo away the poof. Because I don't want the dress to weigh more than I do.

Today I slept in

Today I slept in until 11 am. It was amazing. Since my last weekend of my medicine AI was my "black" weekend (on call from Saturday morning to Sunday afternoon), I have not had a day off in two weeks. Also, I didn't sleep post-call last weekend because a friend was in town (hi, Alex!) and I had coffee with him. It was worth it, but did not help the sleep count.

But, guess what! My medicine AI is over! Yay!!! (Note the appropriate spelling of "yay," Jan.) Now I'm back on pregnancy and babies (maternal fetal medicine elective) for two weeks. On Monday, the first thing I did was a C section at 7:30, and as my scalpel hit skin for the first time in months, something inside me breathed a sigh of relief. That's right. I hated last month, not because I hate medicine, but because it is not the sort of medicine I'm supposed to be practicing. This is. While I've been getting up at 4:15 most mornings, I don't care. This is better.

And now, three day weekend! I'll probably go in at some point today because my attending has a patient delivering, and he usually calls his students to come in for the delivery. But, still, three days in a row to sleep in. It is amazing. And he usually lets me do the delivery practically on my own, so it is totally worth it to go in.

Oh, and by the way, I'm applying to residency in, um, three days. The real action doesn't get going for a bit longer, but the application will be submitted. Whee! Or something.

...

Stephanie Tubbs Jones died today of a ruptured brain aneurysm. She was driving in Cleveland Heights when that errant vessel gave way; that's how close to home this is, literally.

Just like with Wellstone, there isn't a lot to say that would be appropriate. Cleveland, Ohio, the U.S., anyone who calls themselves a liberal... We are hurting today.