Long time gone

I'm still here.

OB/GYN sort of surrounded me in business. And then we started scheduling 4th year (which kind of starts in March - so soon!), and I started freaking out about that. There's been some knitting (Dad's scarf, Brandon's fingerless mitts, work on a shawl to wear to Marie's wedding, an almost done easy baby sweater for the baby upstairs...), but I'm at a coffee shop without my camera, so there will be no pictures for now.

I do kind of have the start of a schedule for the first chunk of 4th year. In March, I'll be doing radiology at the bigshot hospital here. This is in preparation for the acting internship in OB/GYN I'll be doing at the same hospital in either April or June. I figured I should get oriented to the place before I'm really performing. Also in either April or June, I'm hoping to do a Reproductive Endocrinology & Infertility (REI) elective at the academic center right by our medical school. Because, frankly, if I decided I wanted to do REI, everyone would be a lot happier (big $$, cushy lifestyle). In May, I do Geriatrics at the community hospital I've been working at recently. It'll be easy, but the real reason I'm doing it is because I'm missing the first few days of that block for a conference in New Orleans. The conference is the clinical meeting for the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Networknetworknetwork. So, yeah, geriatrics. I'm not about to miss days of something that actually matters to me.

By the way, whoo New Orleans! I realize that in May Cleveland will actually be thinking about getting warm, but New Orleans will be way ahead on that front. Also, I'm traveling with two women I really like and respect. And we're all foodies, so we're going to hit up a John Besh restaurant. Because, really, how could you go to New Orleans and not?

But the real reason I wanted to write is because we're two days out from Super Tuesday (also Fat Tuesday, incidentally...SuperFat Tuesday?). I've tried to convince myself that I'll be pleased enough if Obama wins.

But.

It's not true. I know that policy wise, I'd be happy with him. It's not that I think there's anything wrong with him. But there is something inside me that wants to know that a woman like Hillary can win it all. I want the woman who works hard and is stubborn and is far smarter than most of the men around her and gets in trouble for sticking her neck out and understands how to work the system to make it. Because if she can't, I can't help but take it personally. A lot of things that people don't like about her are things that people don't like about me. And a lot of her strengths are my strengths. And guess what? I know that she's politically manipulative. Do you really think that she'd be where she is if she weren't? I'd rather have someone who works the system and then uses it to good than someone who naively tried to get by on her charisma and plucky spirit. And do you think that she's alone in her campaign strategies and manipulations? Or could the public react differently to her political scheming because she's a woman, and women are notorious for being tricky, manipulative, seductive, calculating...the list goes on.

Is she perfect? No.

But neither am I.

So, on February 5th, I want to see her rise up. And if she doesn't, I'm gonna hurt. And that's just how it is, right or wrong.