Friday, September 19, 2008

Go to bed, Karen

To say that I am stressing about this whole wedding dress thing is putting it mildly. We found a few options last weekend, but I'm just not feeling right with this whole traditional white (ivory) with train thing. I think I will get there. Maybe. But right now, I'm balking. It feels like giving in, somehow. And yet, maybe, on that day, I'll want to look like "a bride." Or whatever. Those of you who commented about color options you've done or seen are definitely helpful. I really appreciate everyone's support (both commenters and friends). Tam, thank you for cards and buttons and emails and comments and really knowing what I'm struggling with. Kristin, thanks for compliments and alternatives and your generally positive outlook. Delores (hi!!), thank you for the same. I love that your daughter got married in brown (I kind of want pale aqua - our color). Seriously. I realize that this is, on some level, not a big deal. But in our culture, it is made to be this Huge Big Thing. Have you picked The Dress yet? What does The Dress look like? As if there were never dresses before and I will be wearing pants for the rest of my life. So, yes, I want to get it right, as it were.

But, for inspiration, I just looked through a friend's wedding photos, with the goal of figuring out what was awesome about her dress, what made her decide that, yes, this piece of cloth is worth the money. While her dress was awesome (modern, no froo-froo factor, flattering), what stood out was how beautiful she was. She was absolutely beaming, and the dress was really not the focus. That's important. Also, B was a groomsman in that wedding, and every once in a while, I'd click to a picture of him. Then I would beam. It'll be okay. Whatever I'm wearing, I'll be really happy, so maybe the dress will fade into the background.


Tam said...

I want you to have *that* dress, I wish I could magically beam it to you with my telekinesis and it would appear in your closet perfectly altered for you to try on and spin around in every day between now and May 9th.

In the end, you will love what you pick because you love who you picked to wear it for. It's only a dress, it gets dirty and it hangs in a closet while you are off living your amazing life with your wonderful husband. Hugs and encouragement from me!! Wish we lived closer.

How about aqua shoes?

With my magic skills I will beam you these too...only they won't be $600

twinsetellen said...

Your dress doesn't make the day. You and Brandon do. And your dad and I will be in the party delighted for both of you whatever you choose to wear. Tam says it well - it is just a dress.

But I kind of like the idea of it having its own life. What if it didn't just hang in your closet while you and Brandon are off living your lives? Maybe it would go visit other dresses, or take up with the tuxedos, or fulfill its lifelong dream to be a dirt farmer in Alabama. But odds are, it won't hang with your circle, so you don't really have to worry about what it has to say.

No, I haven't been drinking.

twinsetjan said...

[Note that she didn't say that she hadn't been eating mushrooms. You never know with that one!]

The dress is a frame for your beauty on that day. I think pale acqua would be lovely. Don't freak you mother out and insist that the veil match though. I assume she has already started knitting -- though there is that whole "garment dyed" option!

In the end, it doesn't matter as much as you think -- we're all going to think you're gorgeous and we're all going to cry.

Kathy said...

A dear friend of our married in the Adirondaks about 15 years ago. In deference to all the "should" messages, she bought a white wedding dress. In the lovely old resort room where we were all getting frocked up (no matchy-matchy dresses), we could all see she was miserable. The whole white dress thing just wasn't Amy. We all quietly left the room while her sister/honor attendant soothed her. A little later in front of all assembled, Amy made her grand entrance - in her sister's dress. Her sister wore an extra dress her sister-on-law had packed. Amy's groom beamed - he recognized this chick. Lesson learned - wear what you bloody want to wear :)

Delores said...

I vote for "our color", soft aqua :o), and I add my amen to the other great words of wisdom you have already gotten. Go with what you like. I really think you will one day just see "it" somewhere, probably when you aren't even looking for "the dress".

Just recently I painted my kitchen cabinets that wonderful color of the pale gray/green lichen that grows on the side of birch trees. We can never really go wrong with "our color" :o)

BTW, Dan and I got married on May 10th, 10 yrs ago. Guess that was our "Golden Anniversary" since we might not make our real 50th unless Dan lives to be 100 and I reach 97. It's a great time of year except you have to share it with Mother's Day from time to time which isn't so bad.

So good finally reconnecting with you!